Moving the blog

I've moved this blog to here. I've found wordpress has way more tools than blogger. check it out.

Things don't always come out right

Communication in and of itself is simple. Think thought, open mouth or prep fingers, output message. Interpretation of communication, though, is the complicated part. Hone ears or focus eyes, listen to or read message, interpret message, solidify understanding. It seems I'm always screwing up with the first part that ends up screwing up the second part. :-S

I find it very intriguing to reflect on how people react to my communication. There are two sides of me I'll share in this post: Formal and Informal.

The formal part of me is dry and concise. Straight to the point. No dilly-dallying around. Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency! This side of me comes out when I haven't established a personal relationship with someone, it is a work related situation, or I'm irritated by something. Outside of the irritated situations, many times, people find my formal communication too direct, stand-offish, intimidating, unemotional... rude even! That's not the intent at all. I can be straight forward and to the point given a situation.

For example - if I know the person I'm communicating with has a million things going on, I am sensitive to that and I keep my messages simple and sweet. Fact based and on subject. That way, I'm doing a few things: 1) ensuring my message is clear so it doesn't get jumbled up in their other thoughts, 2) treating others as I'd like done to me, 3) respecting people's time. There are plenty of people that appreciate this. Then you have others who need the more "personal touch". When you don't give this, you become a bad, bad person that is hard to talk to and get to know.

The informal part of me is very alive, playful, and energetic. Expressive. Vivid. Animated. There are a couple dimensions of informal in the World of Bui. When I know you, but don't know you know you, my informal communication is reserved. (Actually, that's kind of a scary thought. :-) ha!) I tend to get wordy and expressive to let you get an understanding of who I am. I also test waters, too, to see where the line is with you. Sometimes this totally blows up in my face.

Just the other day, I was talking to an intriguing individual. I'd really like to get to know this person better, simply because of common interests and thoughts. What a neat person! I would love to be friends with this person. But alas, I opened my big mouth, make a joking comment about how my change should be delivered, and the initial reaction I saw was 'Whoa... awkward! Awkward!'. It's kind of funny now that I'm writing about it, but I'll tell you - at that time, I felt like a total ass. Hopefully that doesn't inhibit a new friendship, but you never know. Fingers crossed it doesn't end up that way.

The other dimension is the very informal. I guess I'm a straight up whack. Things fall out of my mouth that sometimes surprise even me. I've been accused of being crazy and I'm OK with that. When we've established a non-judgemental relationship and there is mutual trust and love, there are no boundaries in communication. This is my inner circle. The number of people in my true inner circle can be counted on one hand.

I don't think these levels of communication are abnormal. We all have the same concept. The interesting thing is how we interpret each other. When we have our own ideals of what something should be, we socialize that in our heads and want everyone to conform to our logical buckets and way of dispersing it. The dispersion is what causes things to not always come out right.

Being Thankful

This should be an everyday occurance. Unfortunately, many of us don’t give ourselves 5 minutes a day to reflect on what we have to be thankful for. Many are too caught up in aggressively pursuing the next rung in the ladder of life to be satisfied.

Here at the end of November, Thanksgiving in the US gives us a specific day to forget about the hubbub of the world and spend quality time with family and friends. We’re not talking about “making the rounds” and fullfilling the obligations of the “routine” of the holidays. It’s about spending time with people you care about because you actually want to and showing them how thankful you are for their love and friendship. Only you know if you actually did that.

I am thankful everyday of my life for what I have. I am thankful for the health and safety of my friends and family. For the memories I have of those near and far, living and deceased. Without them, who would I be?

This year has been a fantastic year. Or, perhaps all past years have been just as fantastic and this year, I’m actually aware of the fantasticity… Anyway, I’ve made many new friends this year… rekindled friendships with many old friends, too. Continued strengthening great friendships; evolving them to a deeper level of knowingness. And I watched my family grow older and more mature and more beautiful than ever.

Today, I wanted to give thanks to my friends who proactively make a difference in this world. They work hard and are unselfish about their contributions. These friends know that these contributions are just the right thing to do.

To my friends who are in the eye of the public - thank you for being grounded and spreading knowledge and kindness to others without expecting anything back. You are giving and kind - I am honored to have you as a friend. Keep blogging, doing seminars, talking at symposiums, doing demonstrations, teaching classes, and sharing your life experiences.

To my friends who are unsung heros - thank you for all that you do for others, day after day, where most days, you don’t get a thank you. Thank you for having strength and compassion to relentlessly give to society and not hestitating to give more. You are a special breed that this world can’t do without. I am proud to stand beside you and call you my friend. Continue helping the needy, cleaning up blood, feces, and urine when other cannot do it themselves, building roofs and shelter for those who have asked for help, teaching the young ones who have found themselves lost in life, and loving strangers when no one else will.

To my friends who find themselves in neither of the above categories - thank you for reading this blog. Thank you for spending a few moments to reflect on yourself. I wish you good luck on your journey in finding yourself.

Thank you, my friends.

I'm curious

I’m curious.... Is it a good thing to be who you are and be comfortable in your own skin? After all - you are who you are. Nothing can change that but you.

Is it a good thing to not really care whether “they” like you or not? After all - it *is* your life; not their’s. Those who care will appreciate you for everything you are and everything you’re not.

Is it a good thing to live life out in the open, totally free, and genuinely happy? After all - living in a self made prison makes for miserable living. You only live once.

Is it a bad thing to let someone know you admire them for a quality they possess that you haven’t quite excelled in? In the end, this is your teacher. You will learn to improve yourself and excel in life from them.

Is it a bad thing to keep your true inner secrets a secret except from the rare few you let into you inner circle? In the end, everyone has drama, but not everyone needs to know your drama.
Is it a bad thing to take your time getting to know people for everything they are and to have hope that they give you the opportunity to know them? In the end, running before knowing how to walk will cause you to trip. You may never stand up again.

Self-confidence is not an intimidating characteristic. Arrogance is. Self-reflection and self-preservation is not indecisive or self centered. Bending to peer pressure is. Laughing at yourself is not a characteristic of low self-esteem. Stating falsehoods to identify with people is. Talking straight to someone is not mean. Sugar coating and beating around the bush is.

I’m curious… what are your thoughts?

She does karate

Those who know me might know that I “do karate”. Many might think it’s a bunch of people dressed up in pajamas that do some fancy dancy kicking and flips while making a lot of funny noises. Or a bunch of people with an affinity towards reenacting scenes from the oh so awesome Karate Kid.

So.... no. That’s not what I do. I typically don’t say much about how I really feel or what I really do when it comes to this subject because, for most, “she does karate” is really all that anyone cares to hear.

Today, I felt like I should note: I don’t do fancy dancy kicking. I don’t do flips. I don’t do kicks to your head while yelling ‘Hi-yah’ in your face. I don’t assess my ability by the number and size of tournament trophies I have. I don’t want to fight you so you can see if I can kick your ass. I don’t do the Daniel-san crane stance while you come running at me to punch my lights out. I don’t take rank as the gospel of anyone’s abilities. I don’t register my hands with the local authorities.

Perhaps today I felt like saying this because I might be tired of people running around saying ‘Oh, be careful of her - she’s a black belt’. It’s a major damper on the dating scene! Allow me to quote myself “pfffffffffffffffffffffffft!! that don’t mean shit.” Did you know that the true meaning of a black belt is a beginner student who just never gave up on learning more? I’ll also note - I am, by all means, not some skilled Mortal Kombat fighter chic with great hair. I am merely a little Vietnamese cookie who can cook your rice and put soy sauce on it! (Inside joke - very few will understand!!!)

So what do I “do”? I train in life protection. I train in knowing who I am. I train in finding awareness. I train in the way of the warrior (Budo). I’m just a beginner in this journey.

8923 W. Virtual World, Planet Earth, This Universe 2008

I think back just a little over a decade ago when email wasn’t wide spread. When computers were not as common in the household. Back when IM was unknown to the public sector. Back in the day when Blackberries were just a delicious fruit you’d eat.

Those were the days when people would call each other on the home phone and use answering machines if the person wasn’t home. The good old days when face to face communication was the preferred method of communicating.

Those were days when you could really look at someone and (mostly) know how they felt when you said something.

Those were the days when you would write letters to your friends who lived far away. Sometimes using stickers to express feelings or even scented perfume to trigger a memory. That was as virtual as we got.

Now look at us. Emoticons are second nature in our communications. We keep in touch through black and white words displayed on a screen. The mindful communicator adds emoticons to ensure the message is received how it was intended.

We added to this world a virtual space that many replace with the real world. In this virtual space, we can hide any kind of emotion our bodies automatically announce. We say more or say less because we know the receiver of the message has a higher risk of misinterpretation.

That’s a way of looking at it. You are, of course, reading this on my blog wondering what’s on my mind at the moment, aren’t you? ;-)

I’ve found in myself - expressing emotion becomes harder and harder as years pass on.... as I become more dependent on technology to deal with people. I find myself absolutely loving self check-out lanes and feeling irritated when I actually have to stand in line and talk to someone. I pass up businesses who don’t have an online ordering system or online catalogue of products and services. I find I enjoy too much the ability to not be vulnerable. The virtual world gives me the detour around being a natural human being.

I know I am allowing myself to become a hermit in the real world because I’ve replaced it with the virtual world. I’m becoming emotionless in the flesh. Have you?
Instant Messaging, Text Messaging, Email, Social networking sites, Online dating sites, PayPal, Online banking, Online investment brokering, Teleconferencing, Web Cams, Cell Phones, Blogs, Wikis, Online WebMD, iPhones, Crackberries, GPS......

I love it, but I kind of hate it. Call me sometime. Let’s do lunch.

Wikipedia Nerd

Wikipedia is the best thing since chopsticks. I am a wikipedia nerd - are you?? I find myself searching and reading articles on wikipedia all the time. I’m addicted I think.

Over the weekend, I read up on penicillin just because I wondered whether my suspected allergic reaction to mold in beer lines was related to my allergic reaction to penicillin. Shazam! I’m pretty confident it’s related. The symptoms that I encountered Friday night seem to match quite closely to some of the adverse reactions, both common and infrequent.

Admittingly, I have also read the articles on flatulence because a guest doctor on Ophrah said farting was healthy for you. It’s a very informative article, by the way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulation). Read it! Then you’ll understand the saying ‘beans beans are good for your heart! the more you eat, the more you fart!’. Oh, and my research presented no facts to support this doctor’s claim to healthy farting. ;-)

When I was a kid, we didn’t have enough money to buy the whole collection of encyclopedia brittanica, but I recall always liking to read stuff from it in the volumes we did have, and then read others at the library… in between Archie, Garfield, Marmaduke, and Family Circus comics, of course. I never quite made it through the collection end to end and if I did, I’d probably be a little more crazier than I am today. However, this wikipedia gig is pretty sweet.

If anyone can get me an ‘I Love Wikipedia’ t-shirt, I’d totally wear it!